Poll: Is it okay for parents to leave small children unattended in small towns?

What she said...

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Susi,:)))

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CommonCents. Go figure, huh?

There is always hope & room for middle ground and outright agreement and when there isn't----agreeing to disagree.

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Happy weekend to you as well!

Hell no! Never! Just tune into one of the "predator" shows and watch the parade of seemingly normal, upright men that risk everything for the chance they might get to diddle a child, unbelievable!!!

I could not answer...I happen to live in a very small town...population 232...and trust me, everybody in town knows who belongs...a strange car driving around would warrant the phone chain to start, our town is also primarily seniors whom are always on the watch for the latest "news". That said, when my children were little, made them play in the backyard. Now that they are older I get phone calls from the grannies..did you know your daughter was .......? and usually it is something benign that I am aware of...but I trust that my children will not get away with much here...and everyone in town would be aware of a strange car immediately.

Tell that to the parents of the 4 year old little girl playing in her yard with her brother and was taken by a registered sex offender who 3 days later shot and killed himself as police approached. This happened this past week.

This story ended happily.

But I guarantee that from now on those children will not be left alone outside or anywhere away from the ready sight of their family and friends.

If Polly Klaas was taken from inside her own home during a sleepover with 2 friends witnessing the entire kidnapping.....In Petaluma, CA. A small town in Northern California.

Need I say more?

I read the story and I still think that the people who think it's not okay to leave kids unattended in their own homes in small towns are paranoid and ridiculous.

"I read the story and I still think that the people who think it's not okay to leave kids unattended in their own homes in small towns are paranoid and ridiculous"

I live in a town of approximately 8900 people. There are 26 registered sex offenders living in this town, 14 of them for having sexual contact with a child. They live in neighborhoods that are filled with children. Do you honestly think that a one of these freaks wouldn't jump at the chance to get at one of these children, knowing a parent went off and left a small child alone at home? It has nothing to do with being paranoid. There are monsters in our communities, who watch our children, waiting for a chance to harm them. That is the reality of the world we live in.

Do you honestly let fear and the media run your life and make your decisions for you?

Also, if you are so worried about people jumping your fence, shell out a few bucks and get a guard dog.

I have 4 guard dogs, a safe full of guns, a security system, and I live in the country just outside of town. My closest neighbor is 2 miles down the road. I still wouldn't leave my small child home alone even if there were no child molesters in the world. It's called responsible parenting. Small children can get in all sorts of trouble when they aren't supervised. You go right ahead and leave your little ones home alone, let's hope there never comes a day you regret that you did.

what does it matter?

What an absolute foolish, asinine remark! But I bet Mr. Rooney always knows where his wallet is!

I still stand by the belief that if someone wants to abduct a child, they're going to do it regardless of the situation presented to them.

That may be true but most child sexual abductions are not stranger abductions. Does that mean we shouldn't worry about strangers? Obviously not. Some abductions are from strangers, so we watch out for strangers. Most abductions by people known to the family are planned. Does that mean we shouldn't worry about impulse abductions? The answer to that should also be obvious. And, those impulse, stranger abductions are more likely to be against children that are vulnerable than against children that are not. In any case, child victims are not just statistics. When a child is taken, we don't care if the crime follows the norm. We can't prevent all of these crimes, of course, but we can take precautions, and making sure a child younger than 7 or 8 is under the watchful eye of an adult is a common sense precaution even in a small town.

If a parent leaves a 4 year old home alone in the house to go out to get a loaf of bread at the corner store, he or she can be arrested.

I never understood why that's illegal but it's not illegal to let your kid wander the neighborhood (I'm not talking about this child, who was only in her front yard).? You hear and see that all the time - kids just wandering neighborhoods. What's safer? The home or outside? IMO, it's the house. And I still wouldn't leave them alone in a house, let alone to wander around outside.

I still stand by the belief that if someone wants to abduct a child, they're going to do it regardless of the situation presented to them.

Well, you'd be wrong. It's called opportunity....a crime of opportunity, because someone, anyone, just happens by and when you're not looking..... I can't help but think you're purposefully dense on this matter; for whatever reason, you choose to ignore very obvious facts, statistics, with an off-handed remark, well, if it they're going to do it, they'll do it. The speaker of that remark needs to be insulted and kept away from children. How strong is the lock on your bicycle, your skis, your front door, your car? Tell me nothing in your life is locked, secure, then tell me it's okay to let a three year old out alone.

I once heard someone ask if you've ever left your kid alone in a car while you ran into a store. Some people said never, some said always, some said maybe they would. Then he asked "would you would leave your wallet in plain sight on the front seat of your car with 100 bucks in it." Every single person said no. Go figure.

It's called responsible parenting.

It's called irresponsible parenting when your paranoia and superstitions turn your kid into an insecure kid who can't go five minutes without breaking into hysterics and crying out for their parents.

Well, you'd be wrong. It's called opportunity....a crime of opportunity, because someone, anyone, just happens by and when you're not looking..... I can't help but think you're purposefully dense on this matter; for whatever reason, you choose to ignore very obvious facts, statistics, with an off-handed remark, well, if it they're going to do it, they'll do it.

I can't help but think you don't know the use of the "three period pause" or the use of a comma and period in general.

a crime of opportunity, because someone, anyone, just happens by and when you're not looking

And if the kid is abducted in the night while the parents are sleeping?

If a parent leaves a 4 year old home alone in the house to go out to get a loaf of bread at the corner store, he or she can be arrested.

they shouldn't be.. if its only a few minutes the kid should be safe at home by themselves. may be I should have been arrested and thrown in jail every time I stood in the drive way talked with the neighbors while my kid played in the house

"It's called irresponsible parenting when your paranoia and superstitions turn your kid into an insecure kid who can't go five minutes without breaking into hysterics and crying out for their parents."

Oh please, my son was far from insecure or needy, and most certainly was no crybaby mama's boy. He grew up on a farm. He always managed to get himself into plenty of predicaments no matter how much we kept an eye on him. There are a lot of dangers on a farm, and they have nothing to do with paranoia or superstitions. Those dangers came in the form of tractors, shredders, round hay bales, bulls, mama cows, horses, poisonous snakes, huge nests of yellow jackets, and rabid fox. He had run-ins with each one of those that could of been fatal if we hadn't of been around. A kid has a knack for getting into trouble when you turn your back for five minutes.

"if its only a few minutes the kid should be safe at home by themselves"

A few years ago, I went out to get some papers out of my truck while my son sat on the rug watching cartoons. He had one of those little guns that popped those red paper caps. A few minutes later, he came running out of the house, screaming the rug was on fire. In those 4 minutes that I was gone, he had managed to get the rug to start burning from the sparks from that cap gun. It only takes a kid a few minutes to get into trouble by themselves.

A kid has a knack for getting into trouble when you turn your back for five minutes.

And with that you contradict your earlier statements.

A few years ago, I went out to get some papers out of my truck while my son sat on the rug watching cartoons. He had one of those little guns that popped those red paper caps. A few minutes later, he came running out of the house, screaming the rug was on fire. In those 4 minutes that I was gone, he had managed to get the rug to start burning from the sparks from that cap gun. It only takes a kid a few minutes to get into trouble by themselves.

the kids not at fault and they didn't get into trouble by themselves.. its the parents fault they chose to buy the kid a toy that could set fire to the rug. don't think the kid could have set fire to any thing if the parent didn't give them some thing they could start fires with.

don't buy the kid things potentially dangerous toys like that you wont have problems look problem solved.

"And with that you contradict your earlier statements"

Really, and what earlier statement would that be? Good it be this:

"It only takes a kid a few minutes to get into trouble by themselves"

Or this:

"Small children can get in all sorts of trouble when they aren't supervised"

I've said in all my posts that I would never go off and leave my young child all alone at home, in other words running to store, the corner gas station, etc. I've also said kids can get themselves in trouble in a hurry, so where exactly is the contradiction in anything I've said? If I had been the type of parent who left a 4 year old at home all alone to run and get a loaf of bread, that rug burning incident might of resulted in a dead child inside of a burning home.

most parents don't leave there kids alone with incendiary devices when they go out for a fwe minutes.. you dont leave a kid alone with box of matches and then say its there fault when some thing lites on fire. its your responsibility as a parent to make sure they play with age appropriate toys such as toys that dont have the potential to set the rug on fire

never thought I'd have to tell any one that

teh internets

never cease to amaze

So when you run off and leave your young child alone, which you say you have no problem doing, do you lock up the silverware? Do you hide the microwave, lock up his Lego's, take the knobs off the stove, etc, etc? There are all sorts of dangers inside a home that a kid can easily hurt himself with.

As far as the plastic cap gun goes, it was in the package I had just bought it in. We just came from school, and I told him after dinner we would go outside and he could play with it. He took it upon himself to open it and play with it while I ran out to the truck. Don't assume.

Control your paranoia Isabella.

kids I've known know better than to touch knives play with matches or touch the microwave. thats called brace your self PARENTING

it doesnt matter if it was in the package when you left you still bought it for him in the first place. bad call. you dont actually GIVE a small child some thing that causes fires and then blame them when a fire gets started.. thats your fault not the kids.

teh internets lol meet all kinds.. srsly

"kids I've known know better than to touch knives play with matches or touch the microwave"

Uh huh. How many kids have died in fires, or shot themselves while they were left alone at home by a parent who thought they taught their kids better than to touch anything that could harm them? Everyone of them said the kid knew better.

"GIVE a small child some thing"

Oh please, he wasn't "given" anything. He wasn't going to be allowed to play with it without either of us there with him.

Don't assume.

What's that mean? Don't assume the kid won't do something stupid or don't expect the parent to have common sense and not leave the kid alone with something that could be potentially dangerous if not used properly or without adult supervision or by an adult period?

Is your nic Nite? I wasn't typing to you, but I'll answer you anyway. Don't assume I gave it to him to play with inside the house by himself unsupervised.

"not leave the kid alone with something that could be potentially dangerous if not used properly or without adult supervision or by an adult period"

You have an obvious reading comprehension problem. What did I just say in post #4.23:

"he wasn't "given" anything. He wasn't going to be allowed to play with it without either of us there with him."

That clear it up for you any?

I don't know, what did you say? You contradict yourself with your paranoia and bubble logic.

Ah well, with all my "paranoia" and @!$%# I seemed to of raised a pretty level headed kid, who just finished his first year at college. I don't think I did such a bad job, considering I raised him alone from the age of 11 after his dad died. If I'm guilty of being protective, so be it. He felt loved, not smothered.

do you still believe it was your kids fault the rug caught fire or do you see now it was your fault cuz that you gave the kid a toy that could cause fires?

may be some kids don't know better but then again some parents don't know better and leave around deadly objects within the kids easy reach. then the parents have the audacity to blame the kids.. whose in charge I ask you or the kid? the answer is always the parent so its always the parents responsibility. don't leave firearms within easy reach or stuff that could cause fires so forth your kids will be ok take responsibility as an adult and as a parent

child proofing hello??

do you still believe it was your kids fault the rug caught fire or do you see now it was your fault cuz that you gave the kid a toy that could cause fires?

With this kind of mentality, I can see even some of the adults should never be left alone!

Isabella-37: You know that some of these posters are well described in comment #4.12.

The fact is that accidents can happen with anybody anytime - adult or kid. An adult can choke on a pretzel, seriously. Kids are obviously more prone to accidents. The point is when accidents happen how quickly the other person was able to help. I can never imagine any responsible parent leaving a young child alone, regardless of the size of the town or community.

With this kind of mentality, I can see even some of the adults should never be left alone!

don't be coy plz come rite out and explain why you think that

I spent some time talking to my lawn guy today.. ten minutes. some how the kid managed to survive not choke or set any thing on fire. but I prob should be in jail cuz I did that rite??

how many of the people saying that kids have to be supervised every single moment are actually parents?? I can't believe most of them are cuz theyre totally sep from reality but for those that are.. HELICOPTER PARENTS theres many a reason why thats a bad thing

Solidarity Nite: You do understand the difference between responsible parenting and overparenting? Your link is about overparenting, which I too am against. This seed has a question/poll about leaving small children unattended in small towns.

Yes, I am a parent, and people who do not aknowledge that accidents can happen with children (and even adults in some cases) are the ones who dont seem to be responsible parents. You cannot child proof your house completely, as accidents can happen outside of what you have imagined. My point was clear - it is really about how quickly you can help when accidents do occur.

You do understand the difference between responsible parenting and overparenting?

was trying to make this point my self which is why your coment about me doesn't make sense..

Then base you parenting skills on the ones you haven't heard about.

Either way to allow a child under the age of lets say 14 to wander on their own is child neglect,and those are the parents who need to have their children removed to a good home while they sit in prison or the local jail, we read of your kind allowing children to roam the streets unattended while pedophiles and serial rapist roam the same streets.

If you are not within eyesight of your children, an adult has to be and likely is if they aren't being supervised.The difference being who is eying your children when you aren't.

Either way to allow a child under the age of lets say 14 to wander on their own is child neglect

Assuming you can even explain how it is child neglect at all to let a kid "wander", you need to relax. When you let fear rule you you basically give up your life and then you ruin everyone else's.

I suggest you read you daily news before telling me that I am ruining peoples lives.

You on the other hand advocate free roaming of children in a horrible world.

If you have children and aspire to that mentality,God help you should one of yours be chosen as the next victim of your local priest,carpenter,or florist.

No, I advocate not raising children on fear and superstition. My parents let me "wander," they left me unattended. They did the same for many of my friends. We all grew up fine and dandy. Why? Our parents weren't paranoid freaks.

Auteur 1536,

Fear is something that we resolve to based on certain realities.

Superstition is something based on unconfirmed realities..

No matter how you approach this or justify it children should not be left alone for a second in our current world.

If you allow this and have children it is a matter of when and not what if.

You are the sole judge of how to raise your children or how to lose them to scum.

We just don't want to read,hear or pay for it because you think we live in a made up world of belief or disbelief.

Not to mention the tears that flow for children who are molested raped and killed because people think like yourself.

kids playing in the yard are not "wandering around."

if you operate your household around the presumption that every situation will result in its worst-possible outcome, you're not only going to drive yourself crazy, you're going to turn your children into simple-minded, codependent twerps who waste my kids' teacher's time wiping their asses, conducting remedial class lessons, and spending all day on the phone with YOU explaining why johnny got another F.

no thanks. life happens.

Either way to allow a child under the age of lets say 14 to wander on their own is child neglect,and those are the parents who need to have their children removed to a good home while they sit in prison or the local jail, we read of your kind allowing children to roam the streets unattended while pedophiles and serial rapist roam the same streets.

you must be frakking kidding

I see kids all the time at the local skate park there 11 12 13 yrs old.. are they wandering unattended?? how about the kids on there bikes down at the beach or at the park there wandering unattended

let me guess you dont have kids and I get the feeling your child hood was severely restricted which was not good for you

the real question you and every body else should be asking is why are pedophiles and rapists allowed out of prison ever. may be if we took those crimes more seriously instead of child abusers and rapists getting out of jail in a few years or less we would see less of those sorts of crimes

but nah lets keep blaming the victims. dont want your kids to be abducted? lock them in the house better yet keep them in a cage in case they mite go out side and be exposed to some risk. while were at it why dont we tell women to stay in cages too because theres rapists out there..

you want to keep the wrong people in prison thats wrong

Not to mention the tears that flow for children who are molested raped and killed because people think like yourself.

And that is where we place the crazy flag on your head and ignore you.

Solidarity Nite...I agree with you...children need to grow and learn about the world, as I have stated before we live in a very small town...my kids frequently go to the towns sports complex to play basketball, tennis or skate in the skate park, I can see the sports complex from my property, that said I do not stay out there and watch them the whole time they are there..but trust me, from experience...my daughter thought no one was watching and decided to skate without her helmet..I immediately received a call from the little old lady who lives across the street (I think she thinks it is her duty to watch the kids with binoculars...hehe) informing me that my daughter was skating without a helmet, I went and got her, needless to say no sports complex for a week, no skate park or skate board for a month. We are also very fortunate to have a very proactive school...they started teaching the kids about strangers in Kindergarten, parents were invited. It was very much at the kids age level, these life lessons continue on a monthly basis during the school year, the school counselor spends 2 hours a week in each class discussing peer issues or any concerns that any student has. My kids are 9 & 11 when they leave our immediate block ( and just so you understand..I have traffic if more than 5 cars go by my home in any given day), they must tell me were they are going, they must stay together or be with a friend and my oldest is required to text me every so often..this depends on where they are going, I also set the cell phone alarm for there come home time. I am very comfortable with this, mostly cause we have lots of grannies with binoculars...you ought to see the news/gossip travel in a town of 232. Trust me also...even a strange car makes the phone chain..it is quite hilarious since I moved here from a large city. The above considered I think there are many factors that come into play when it comes to at what age do you start letting you children learn how to fly? If I lived in the city as I did before children I would not let my kids out of my site till they were older than they are now. I live here so my children can go out and play, there boundaries and where they go depends on where and how many kids are together time of day etc.

You know, I never thought I would be the mom to get my kids cell phones but I am actually thankful...they are a good way for me to let go just a little. Cell phone paid off once..on a bike ride 6 kids ages 8-11, a road heading towards farms..kids saw a strange truck..it drove past them twice...my child 11 called 911..the operator stayed on the phone with the kids and got the license plate # which my child had put in the phone the second time it went by them, sheriff showed up about 3 minutes later...come to find out it was a farmers son working on a truck he had just bought, taking it for a test drive..I for one was very proud of my child, the kids did the right thing..education...and you need to let go sometime....age appropriate baby steps for where YOU live.

Sorry to be so long winded...but where you live is a huge factor as to when and how much freedom you give your children. May god bless and keep all our children safe! :)

Here, here.

You have remarkable confidence in the responsible actions of your neighbors. I hope your community is as safe and sound as you say, sincerely.

Dar...I totaly agree with you...I live in a very small town in the middle of the wheatfields, my greatest fear is my kids will run into a rattlesnake!

My biggest scare came from the school itself, they called and told me that our daughter was not in school one day. I watched walk into the building. The teacher had counted her absent, she was siting in the classroom at the time I got the phone call. By the time I could get to the school I got a phone call saying she was in class.

R.Donald,

Exactly!

RDS, that is so true. First of all, a 3 year old should never be alone and should never be watched by a 5 year old. Secondly, the only thing that makes a small town different than a larger town or city, is that there's a good chance you'll know the kidnapper's name. Thirdly, anyone who thinks their small town of the 1950's is just like today, has never ventured from that small town to see that, gee, look at all the people out there. How many towns have stagnant populations? Lastly, if women know where their purses are and men their wallets, children deserve at least that much of our attention.

It's true that the freaks are more obvious in a small town, but it always seems to me to be the local minister or scoutmaster or whatever tat you don't find out about until it's too late. So why take that kind of chance with putting your child through the trauma if you can do some commonsense things, like not leaving a child that young alone in the front yard. Besides, there are other worries, even in a small town, like dogs or older kids or even them wandering into the street. It's just not worth the risk for children as young as in this article.

Michael, Oh I know. This club thankfully is 18-20 (weird I know but happy it exists) so there is no alcohol. And her group of friends is all about dancing anyway. Bunch of moms and their daughters sometimes get together and go to the Dallas Bull here in Tampa for girls night, so thankfully between a huge crew or her 6'3" 295 BF she's pretty well protected as are all the girls.

I wont allow her to go alone. Not that she'd want to go alone anyway. LOL

We've heard horror stories. So beyond crazy scary.

some of the teen clubs have older men who dont look older go in to them.

Oh I know.

That's why it's not a pastime for her it's a once in awhile. Her group of friends would rather hit the beach, the movies and hang out and home at the pool than deal with the mess at clubs.

good i would not want anything to happen to your baby girl, even if she is 19

:) Cookin mama

Me either---thanks!

And she is that---my almost 19 year old baby girl :)

Always will be

rite now I'm looking out side and theres a bunch of five year olds playing together in a neighbors front yard. they run off to each others yard every once in a while. quiet road nice people safe kids

but according to some these kids are being neglected.. what world are we living in

thats laffable.. never left them unattended? never? they didnt even go to the bath room by themselves? sat in class with them at school? were with them every second of every day? some how I doubt your story.

Solidarity - Unattended, as in without adult supervision. Maybe not mine, but there was always someone I trusted there, my husband, a teacher at school, my mother, sister, brother, baby-sitter, daycare.

Geez!

If I am in the house, which is a single level, they are not unattended. And the article is referring to outside incidents.

Please try to use common sense.

Unattended, as in without adult supervision

as in when mom or dad actually leave the property and leave the young kids totally alone? yea that's not cool but I don't think thats what was being discussed the article clearly says that the kids were playing in the front yard while mom cooked dinner.

letting the kid play in the yard while watching them out the window is just fine happens all the time and usually the worst that happens is a skinned knee.

please read the article next time before you decide to snark

letting the kid play in the yard while watching them out the window is just fine happens all the time and usually the worst that happens is a skinned knee.

Well I have lived in a small town, big city, military post. Guess where there was an attempted abduction in my neighborhood. All three! (I was one of the attempted abductees! I was 8.)

Before you start assuming things you shouldn't, take into account that no everyone's experiences are the same. And maybe, just maybe I do what I do for an underlying reason.

I had a scare as a kid and I don't make the mistake of thinking that every body has the same very rare experience as I did.

the world is not as scary a place esp your own front yard. heaven help us if it were. don't live in fear when you don't have to certainly don't make kids live like that.

My kids do not fear, again you assume too much. I do not fear. But I am watchful.

Since you can not see anyside but your own, good day.

there's a big diff no wait a HUGE diff between playing safely in the front yard and roaming wild in the woods playing on the rail lines or on the road. kids are safe for the most part in there front yards unattended.

I'm watching little kids playing rite now like they have for years in this neighborhood and they're just fine. some how they either manage to resist the lure of playing in traffic on rail lines and abandoned buildings or may be they've just been taut better.

Not one of those 2, 3, 4 or 5 year old children in your town have any sense of adventure? Every single one of them does exactly as they're taught? Are they children or are they robots? Is the name of your town Stepford, Connecticut?

The fact remains, 90% of all children molested know their molester. 40% are molested by friends or neighbors.

the little kids I know dont venture far from their neighborhoods. if some bodys kids are wandering in traffic on rail lines in abandoned may be they weren't taut not to do that or may be mom is srlsly not paying attention not the kids fault at that age.

so what you arguing in your second post? its ok for kids to play in traffic but not at a neighbors or relatives?

yeah lets keep the kids in cages until theyre 18 thats the best solution /sarc